When I grow up

When I grow up I don't want to be famous. I just want to be happy doing what I love. And from a young age, I knew I wanted my own "happily ever after."

At 8 years old, I watched my aunt get married (I was a junior bridesmaid) and move in with her new husband. My sister, C, and I spent summers in Chicago with them, while they took us on vacations to their Wisconsin lake house. This man quickly turned into family and thus, my uncle. I admired him and prayed that one day, God would lead me to a man like him. The type of man that woke two little girls up by singing Opera. The type of man who hopped around like a ballerina on the lake raft just to make us laugh. We weren't blood related, but none of that made a difference to him. And oh boy...the way he loved my aunt. He couldn't deny the way he felt about her even if he had wanted to. Their marriage became my biggest aspiration.

Now, after being incredibly blessed to have two loves of my life, I know we are just at the beginning. I've always sought after the "happily ever after" part, but it never really dawned on me what comes next. And for me, the next step is my career.

Sure sure, the natural order of progression is career, marriage, and then children. A career to find yourself and discover who you are as an individual. An individual who can then give their life to another being. I did that part out of order. Of course this is just my opinion, and I'm sure some may disagree, but there are were certain circumstances as a younger person I experienced, that I believe forced me to grow up quicker. If anything, discover who I was faster and learn to question everything to find my own answers. I know there is much more to learn abut myself as I'm only 22 but I have a good idea of my strengths, faults, where I want my life to go, and a vague idea how to achieve those things.

My career on the other hand...that is a completely different situation. I want to teach. I want to work with animals. I want to be a cosmetologist. I want to be a lactation consultant. Basically, I am equally extremely interested in a number of fields. I know I could be happy in any of the above.

So how do I chose. (That's a rhetorical question for the record). Do I chose by which I think helps others the most? I am so passionate about breastfeeding so I'd love the opportunity to give women the support, information, and instruction on how to do so successfully and have an enjoyable experience. I love children since I grew up with 5 younger siblings and believe I'd be a great teacher. I LOVE the idea of working as a cosmetologist. And I adore animals beyond imagination so being able to help them would also be a top spot in my book.

They're all going to cost a lot. More than we have available and that's a fact I've come to terms with. I am fortunate to have grant options available to me through being an Alaskan Native and a military wife. Not options all get, even though I believe those options should be available to more people. In the end I don't want to chose based on which pays the most but let's face it, although money doesn't make the world go round, it sure helps to keep them spinning.

It basically boils down to deciding. I already have a bunch of college classes down the drain so moving forward there wouldn't be hard. I just can't decide on things to save my life. I'm as indecisive as a dog put before a bone and a ball. I just don't know what to do! As soon as I think I've decided without a doubt, I start getting passionate about a different option. There's so much I want to do with life.

But for now, saving our wallets the expense till I'm positive, will just buy more time to save up.